Maming

Last night, I woke up bothered by a strange noise. It came from my mother, she's dreaming. And yes, I still sleep beside my mother. I woke her up by shaking her and called her name. She said, in her dream there was a person looking at her. During dinner she relayed the whole story, turned out it was her aunt in her dream. Lola Maming is the sister of my grandmother. She is still alive by the way and lives with another sibling. Lola Maming and Mommy are inseperable, that's how my grandmother Nancy described her two sisters. Lola Maming is old with greyish white hair with slightly wrinkled skin but still you can see a beautiful face with innocent eyes and soft spoken. She never got married or had any children. She's graceful or careful with the way she carries her slender and awkwardly bent forward body. Going back to my mother's dream. Lola Maming just stood behind our kitchen's closed window. Though it's an unclear glass her face was well formed and looked straight with a blank expression. My mom tried to shoo her and she just moved in a very slow paced liked the one in horror movies staring back at her. The funny thing is, as she was telling the story my brother blurted out ' Why did you just shooed your aunt?! She is your aunt?!' and my mother answered while laughing 'She looked so scary just standing there?!' Oh mother! I know, a terrible story worth bloggin' eh?! heheh just want to mess up with your time! bwahahah :D

what the

I just wrote an entry and clicked 'publish' - aaaand it's gone.

usic

I know different kinds of pain, this time it's not from working out but learning to play the keyboards! :) My father would be so happy that the organ he bought more than a decade ago is now quite useful and we are having fun playing with it. haha Playing 'Moon River" is one of my favorite. I know that this whole learning thing isn't supervised by a "pro" and I don't slap/punish myself if I hit the wrong keys - and it's pretty annoying actually! hahah But, I'm enjoying every bit of it! :D I tried "Amazing Grace" once and it was horrible.hahah Good thing I downloaded this free application from Google Play Store called "Perfect Piano" and voila I could play in an orchestra! hahah just kidding! I'll get there but I'lll be needing extreme divine intervention to make it happen! :) The first time I visited the church that I am now a member - I noticed the upright piano. The moment that Ma'am Hydie the wife of the church's pastor played a music with it, I haven't taken my eyes off and with great respect it plays only amazing Christian songs which gives more importance of the whole thing. Until now my jaw still drops from time to time. Now I hafta settle with what I have in my hands and make the most out of it. To be honest, I need overhauling when it comes to music - I'm the music teacher's nightmare - I tell you that!hahah :D

achy breaky

Before anything else I would like to say that I love NBA, traveling and food. That's just me. I am happy living a simple life though not much to be fancy but for me it's something. More than anything else I think I have what I needed for my family alone - living in this new house & there's food on our table, with not much yet to complain regarding our health. My father said that I should look after my brothers. They're doing well and my mother too. Though me and my youngest brother haven't started earning yet and the other one is still in college - it doesn't mean this is the end for us. In fact, me and my brother planned to move out to another city and hopefully start our career there. As for me that isn't the original plan, perhaps work abroad. My heart is aching now because I am trying to give up that dream. I am convincing myself that it isn't for me or for this family. I know God has a better plan for me. There are people who believed I could do better in life such as my relatives. They are my supporters but also number one criticizers. My immediate family will always be with me through my failures and success but outside that inner circle are either bringing me down or up. To be honest - I am in a position that could do more but financially incapable. I know there are others that can help me beyond what they can give but have chosen not to. Sooooooo, might as well proceed to what I have always loved - it's coming really SOON. Super excited and scared but I know in my heart it will be beautiful beyond words. =) xx

Dis

Please don't expect too much from me. I disappoint people around me most of the time and I don't think I can promise you something beautiful but a whole bunch of disappointments too. Deal with it! :)

Care Bear

I feel like I must say something. I guess this is what it is when a-l-o-n-e most of the time. I hope this little plan that I came up with will go where it suppose to go. I want to change something and it will do us all good. It is exciting and at the same time scary. God help me. :D Here's a little thought to share 'if you can't beat them - join them'. This by far is the most concrete among the others. I should've done this a very long time ago. But, instead I was just beating around the bush. :-/ So, this is it! Adventure is out there! heheh Makes me feel a little sad but I'll get use to it! ^_^

sha-la-la-la

It's so nice to be happy! :) After a very long day feeling down and yet my day ended soooo well. Thankful and blessed. This is life! Everybody should feel great by the end of the their day ALWAYS! ;) I want to say something - - - oh! The moon looks incredibly gorgeous tonight! To be honest, I miss my lady friends! They're kinda busy with their own lives now. I almost/always fail wanting to know new ones. Like, I don't know what to say? I don't want it to make it look like I am trying SO hard! But really it is hard! Damn it! :-/ I am nice, funny and SHY! I can easily smell arrogance - it is such a turn off BIG TIME. I guess I should not complain being friend-LESS these days. Urggh What was that?! heheh See the joke?! No? Forget it. Awwww Mark is really an amazing boyfriend and an incredible best friend that I can talk to about anything and been keeping me company - he is just being wonderful and patient of me. I sometimes think I don't need friends but it is still different being around with females too you know. ;) I wish I can grab random females and ask if they would want to be my bestfriend for a day and together we paint our nails and braid our hair the same. HAHAH *trying hard* :D

kiss me - ed sheeran

"Kiss Me" -ed sheeran Settle down with me Cover me up Cuddle me in Lie down with me And hold me in your arms And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Settle down with me And I'll be your safety You'll be my lady I was made to keep your body warm But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms Oh no My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Yeah I've been feeling everything From hate to love From love to lust From lust to truth I guess that's how I know you So I hold you close to help you give it up So kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love

Last Night

Last night before sleep swallowed me - I remembered something a very long time ago. But, it feels like it just happened yesterday. You know when you thought the person that you like doesn't have time to wonder if you exist and you've proven yourself WRONG because he likes you the same way! That my friend is called VICTORY! :D oh HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Mother J! Yeah, how ironic it is that yesterday was the death anniversarry of my father. Life. Though we always love to hate each other - we both share HATE towards Lebron James and we both share LOVE towards THE Kobe Bryant! oh mama mia! hahah

2nd Year

Today marks the 2nd Death Anniversary of my father Serafin L. Amatong. I still miss him here and there because who wouldn't - he was a funny guy and very sweet and thoughtful. He once told me that if he will be a millionaire he will feed the kids who have nothing to eat. I once worked as a child care worker, I get to care kids whom never had a formal education or a home, you know street & abused kids. I find them adorable and cute. You can tell they're doing their best to be polite since their parents are absolutely haven't done a good job of parenting so being nice is out of the question. My father was absolutely thrilled by it. When I get home from work I tell him different stories from different kids. I guess he was happy I get to care with those kind of kids. My family once decided to spent my birthday in the center to be with them and that was the most meaningful birthday everrrr! My father really treats all kids nicely. He was fond of them. In fact, everyone in our neighborhood even my friends call him 'Papang'. As for me, the kids from the center whenever they see me they will still call me ''Ma'am Kara'' with all smiles.heheh My Papa is the person who knows your happiness by heart. One thing he taught me that you don't have to spend a lot of money to be happy. Just hugs and kisses - the things to make you feel better or special. I don't regret that I didn't make a eulogy on his funeral. It's too limited and I know my Papa wouldn't want me have a heavy heart and words bidding him goodbye. We only have sweet sweet memories together - like enjoying hot chocolates on rainy days. I love you Papa and missing you a lot. xoxo

I'm such a loser! hehe Just got back to this bloggin' haven. I'm just using my phone while writing this so pardon if there are words misspelled around this post! :) Seriously, I am more of a twitter bug these past few months. I already deactivated my FB account(s) - due to incredible (nosense) discoveries I get every single day & just kept asking more of it so it has to stop before I get into more trouble. Anyhow, there are lots of things happenned and I thought would happen but didn't in my life. Career wise - I'm such a loser. Now, I don't mean to interrupt your negative thoughts of me but you know it can happen to somebody at some point in their lives. To me, it came this early. So, there is nowhere to go but UP my friend and to never discourage. Well, if hatred could even swallow I wouldn't be alive today. But, God is good. He armored me with His unconditional love and he gave me a man who so dearly loves me beyond my imagination. They are that kept me strong and fueled me with hope and faith. I may not be able to see how my day would end but I know I have enough to get me through it. It is something that I am thankful for and I know I am blessed and loved more than I can ask for. :) This blog has been with me since I was in college. The ugly; to the nastiest side; to the crazy side of me is also here. I am hopeful that it will soar high above with only positivity and hope and most especially filled with happiness. :) Until my next post! :-*

Da VEeee day

Well, lately I’ve reading a couple of books since I’ve nothing else to do than just sit around the house. Not thinking of updating the blog either. Why in the world I don’t have that urge always, huh? The  days I guess I’ll be stuck being a potato couch for a little bit longer. I don’t know what to do with my life. Sure, my love life I can say that it’s looking pretty well from time to time. As individuals, I am the one who sucks. It’s not that he made me feel that way, he doesn’t ‘cause if he did then what I mentioned ago would be a lie. I am a nurse with no hospital. Just like that. Been grabbing opportunities but the luck ain’t that long. So here I am. Tired of this internet either. I could say I’ve been nursing myself. Staying away from the web would be a good idea. So as to avoid jealousy and all the stuff. They say it is a good help. I don’t see it. “Cause every time I’m in front of my laptop. It’s always the facebook, twitter, or some blogs that would keep me wishing “I wish I was born that way”.

The weather is kinda funny. (Trying not to curse the rain here.) Been raining softly practically warning  “I’m staying a bit longer you know, so be prepared for some water coming in to your house Kara!” Sigh. You see, few weeks ago was actually the Valentine’s day. While every other girls were receiving bunch of flowers that would die eventually. Me, on the other hand, I got “lechon baboy” isn’t it sweet?hahaha I fell head over heels in love again with my boyfriend!

 

Image from web 

 

Yummy isn’t it? This is L-O-V-E! hahah

Ok, I don’t have the right to cmplain in my life. But, I should focus really on the positive things. That we’re still here breathing. We are born to move forward. Good vibes lang. :D Stay cool and Happy guys! <3

Flewn away

I’ve traveled through land and seas and recently my new adventure had lifted me up to the air. Yes, my friend. I finally flown in an airplane. Woohoooo! :D I’m just one lucky girl. But the purpose of my travel wasn’t really that successful but I couldn’t sadden myself because I was in for an adventure.

 

Some of the photos from my trip/kiddie-tour.

 

I stayed in San Pedro, Laguna. In a village called Villa Olympia, where the family of my friend Joven lived. Thanks to them I’ve saved some money for food whenever my friends and me meet up. My itenerary was dplg-dmgte-cebu-manila-cebu-dmgte-dplg. That was a tiring 2-weeks for me. Through seas - Dmgte, where I spent hours for dinner and to caught up with my HS classmates too. Then cebu, where I stayed a night before leaving to Manila by plane.

When I was in Manila, thank goodness to my friend Joven we traveled suave in the family car and a driver. hahaha I met the whole Ondap household. They’re all oh-oh-awesome. ;p

We went to POEA to start my “purpose” but then I got the worst news ever and so my heart was crushed but was a little hopeful here and there. Just focused on that really eye-shutting-silver-lighting, so there. The whole shinowva turned-out more of a kiddie-tour.

The Wowness of my travel:

1. The p-l-a-n-e.
2. The riding on a awesome car with a personal driver in MANILA-land.
3. Brisk walking most of the time. I think of it as an exercise.
4. The triple-language we get to practice. Bisaya-english-tagalog.
5. Don’t I dare to forget. The MRT. Which was also the first-time. (train)
6. MOA. It was huge. I wished me and my  friends rode the eye-of-moa thingy. (ferries-wheel)
7. That Asian hospital is sure a great place to work.hehe
8. Pass under a very small tunnel.ahahaha under SLEX.
9. The Enchanted Kingdom visit was SICK! Rides that kept me whoozy the whole time. FUN.
10. The Ayala Triangle was beautiful and all the malls and building round Makati and Taguig.
11. Of course, the great people I’ve met and gained as friends.

On my way home. I gave the family a thank-you card. They deserved better than that actually. But, I surely will miss and remember every bit of my stay there. Just like family. <3 Hope to be back there very soon. :)

I am not a looser. I’m a gainer that' keeps gaining. :D ahahahaha

2012

 

Late post :/ Should start with high energy!!!! YAhooooo another year. What’s in store for each and everyone of us? Hmm. Some say it could be the last year and BOOM! End of the world na. Haynaku. I refuse to entertain such thought. I mean whatever natural calamities, sure its gonna happen. Nobody is really ready of such. ( this surely is with negativity) hahah I’m so not  myself lately. I feel like I’ve been left behind. People around me surely are happy and doing well in their own lives. But me? At age 23, what significant thing in this world did I ever contributed. ( ah. yes, trash? ) None. Well, maybe I’m being so brutal about myself anyway. Positivity. Positivity. Positivity.

Look, I just beg 1 or 2 things that’ll come true this year. God, Your will be done. I wish to help my mama financially. Yeah, maybe I should pursue my chance to get out of this country and work there. That’s one. And, I just want that everyone that I love shall have good health no matter how abusive they are with their body, just allow it ‘til the time comes that I’ll be stable financially then rocked it with hospital bills. hehe But I guess the most brilliant idea is for them to be SAVED.

2012 please be nicer to me.

Ooops I did it again..

We all are very aware that Christmas season is already here. All those decors are out on display already. Lights are shimmering-sparkling-aglow.ahaha Colorful surroundings and all the carolers are singing out loud just to receive coins from the people. We must not forget the unforgettable yummy delicious foods and magarang gifts. You know what I mean. ;p Then there is this “simbang-gabi” or '”9-mornings” which mostly Catholic Filipinos are willing to participate. They say it’s a preparation for the coming of the Savior. To be honest, I really think far from those other reason/s. The thing that got my interest: when you complete the “9-mornings” your wish will come……TRUE Hu-waaat! Well, that really got me going. I honestly done/completed once or thrice way back. One thing that I wish then was about my HS crush that we would end up together, the rest were random and common. Other than that, I never really understood it by heart. Total Fail :/

There were questions in my heart that are left unanswered before. Seriously, you don’t go to church and pray on your knees because of the things you wish you’ll have. But a lot. Everything really. This requires a very deep explanation which I think I am not knowledgeable enough but is willing to explain anyway. hehe (if you want to-go-ahead-ask-at your own risk ;p)

Well, I haven’t really mentioned from my past entries that I am Newly-Born-Again-Christian.I found and accepted Jesus as my personal savior. So my “9-mornings” then was a huge fail, personally. But now understanding Christmas on a very different view. With reasons, explanations and deeper thoughts. I feel renewed. I get to see the whole thing in a new perspective. -Being present and aiming for the wish to come true is just shallow.

I am writing this entry because my Aunt said that I should go to 9-mornings to make my wish come true. She wasn’t aware that I have my Jesus with me already. He’s surprising me everyday with different wishes of mine that came true. :D (even-unaware-wishes haha)

I am NEW. Celebrating this Christmas on a different way. :D A treasure/changed within myself. Thankful and so blessed for this year. Though there are reasons also to be sad and be gloom, but as a daughter of God I am capable of moving forward day by day. The one thing that everybody should know by heart- *Christmas is when the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in the manger. *Christ Jesus at the age of 30 was baptized. *Jesus Christ died at the age of 33 on the cross.*Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. *He saved us humans from the dead. Through Him we’ve come to know that THERE IS ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN AFTER DEATH.

 

Images from web

Just so you know my HS crush is now my boyfriend and we’ve been together for a very long time. He was an instrument of God that I am able to meet Jesus, this very Jesus in my heart. :D I won’t be that sorry that I am not going to 9-mornings starting this year, at least I have the full understanding already about Christmas. :D  The joy of everlasting life in heaven after my stay here on earth. Who wanna join me? You? Oh, I know your hesitations. :D  But God doesn’t want you to be harmed. So, come with me.

PAnic Under Attack

Well, My Markidong’s birthday is this coming Friday. Superrrrrr I don’t know what to do on a tight budget. Fail. huhu Even though he said that he ain’t expecting something from me on that day, ‘cause to him he’s even more happier because we’re together. Whateverrrrr. I still want to do something out-of-nowhere. Help me Lord God. Badly wishing for affordable ideas. hehe

ka_Rocks!

Effort

just when i want to post something on this blog saka naman di gumagana tong utak ko. ito nalang nararamdaman ko ang gagamitin para naman may masabi kahit konti sayang kasi(tumawag lang at narinig boses ng crush hala nawala na sa sarili).

oks din naman pala mag-tagalog ano. di kasi ako mahilig mag-sulat o mag-salita ng tagaligs hihihi xenxa nah nirerespeto ko naman ang ating sariling wika kaya lang para bang natatakot ako na baka mali.mali..aahh bahala kayo...eh siguro nagsimula ito nung nasa grade school pa ako..lagi kasi maliit lang ang grades ko sa Filipino subject at pinapagalitan ako ng aking mapang.bugbog na nanay(ng pagmamahal yan)hihihi kaya heto si kara laging utal magsalita ng tagalog at malabo magsulat ng tagalog..(kala naman nito talagang marunong mag-english..eh talagang mahina ako nito pake nyo!)..kaya hayan na.trauma ba...tsaka pag.pupunta kami sa bahay nila hana dyos ko para bang torture moments sa akin pag.nandyan mommy nya kasi naman po tagalog sila magsalita.. aba ako lang ang taong kinakapos ng tagalog sa bansang ito...hahaha kawawa naman tong sitwasyon ko at sa pag.bisita ko sa ibang blogs aba tulo laway ko sa kanila. marunong ang mga taong to mag.tagalog( dapat ba akong mamangha talaga?..haha). ako na talagang pinaka.pasaway na Pilipino sa balat ng saging..kainis. kaya dito ko sisimulan sa pag.tahas ng aking sarili sa pagsulat gamit ang salitang tagalog. oks ba yun?

siguro nagtataka kayo ba't hindi ako marunong ano,...pwes higupin nyo to..Oo sa isla ng mindanao ako nakatira at hindi salitang tagalog ang gamit namin dito,..hindi naman talaga ako bobong bis.dak (-BISayang DAKo-) pero sige hinahamon ko ang aking sarili sa pagtatagalog. (Dyos ko kakahiya naman)..At eto pah, talaga naman nakakamangha ang ating pambansang wika kasi para sa 'kin mas malalim ang mga kahulugan o gustong ipinapahiwatig ng salitang tagalog..pero depende din naman sa pag.gamit. ewan ko...(huwag naah bawal sa 'kin mag-isip)
sana maintindihan nyo tong isinulat ko...kung natakot ko man kayo o napatawa. ewan ko kung pwede kong ipagmalaki sa sarili ko sa nagawa ko sa inyong mga hindi masyadong malugod na bumabasa ng blog na ito.. hihihi pero di bale ibubuhos ko lahat ng aking talino at lakas mapabuti lang ang kalunos.lunos na sitwasyon ko...hahaha

sige hanggang sa muli kong pag.sulat (aba kapal..hihihi)

bianca..peace

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The above entry was written 16 February 2007 on this same blog. Memories while still starting this crazy-little-thing-called-BLOG. True love. hehe

 

<3

Ka-ROcks!

Oooooh ;p

 

Ameeyziiiiiiing!

I just can’t get owverrrrr with this movie. Grabeh it’s just like what I imagined while I was reading the book. Bow down to the people behind this film. :D Kristen and Robert now really have that chemistry onscreen. I think it helped a lot now that they are a real couple. Superrrbbbb.

Well, I wasn’t really planning to watch the movie when I was in Dumaguete City 2 days ago. But it was a gift from a friend that I couldn’t refuse. haha I can say this is the movie of the year.  I just couldn’t explain it thoroughly. To be honest, to me this movie is the best among the Twilight Saga. So hopefully the 2nd part of Breaking Dawn will take over this one.  I love every second of it. I’ll be watching this over and over again :)

Images from web

Bad trip nga lang while watching the movie, there were parts that I would really want to cryyyy but it was awkward because I’m with a friend. #badly-wishing-I-watched-it-with-my-boyfriend :’(

Found the official soundtrack of the movie. “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars. Here’s a video with lyrics. Enjoy!

Another Month ;p

 Happy Monthsarry <3

Another month being together. :D I am not a fan really of keeping tracks on “special days” such as this. But, I couldn’t help it. I tried to avoid making fuss out of it before. I was just afraid I might disappoint myself because I was thinking maybe my partner wouldn’t care also. I was surprised because he’s the one who makes efforts about it. This just made me realized that our relationship is special, might as well celebrate it in a humble way.

The picture above was taken almost 5years ago. At our friend’s home. The only picture we have that looks like we’re a couple. haha ;D  To us, everyday is like  Valentine’s day. I think all couples should feel that way (even during times of trial). The past few nights before I sleep, memories came rushing back to me when we were still in high school. We were classmates then, and from the moment I saw him - I fell in love. It was love-at-first-sight and he felt the same way too. But we were young and I challenged myself to avoid relationships and I won. So what did I do to enjoy my-little-puppy-love-while-staying-single? (positive way lang ;p)

 

• I studied hard for myself and family and to impress him.
• I never told him I like him too. He might think I’m easy.
• I was strict. So, no boys ever gets near me even him. So he won’t think I’m a flirt and just plain fair.
• Boys whom I can feel that’s treating me differently because he might have liked me, are then avoided.
• Boys who courted me was marked “X” immediately on their forehead. I have so much respect for myself and my feelings and I don’t collect and select. I don’t want to take advantage, so as early as possible I tell them the truth that my heart is already set to someone else.
• I kept my feelings for him to myself. I still need to grow up and mature, I surely think he does too.
• My past time then is to stare at him and making sure I wouldn’t get caught. haha Just being observant and it was fun.
• I discovered: When I feel cold, uneasy, my heart would beat faster, shortness of breath, that something ain’t right about me, I would know right then that he is in the area close to me, or walking towards each other at the hallway. Without seeing him first, he was the reason for it. And it never failed me. It’s like I have a radar. haha  A-HAPPY-JUST-ME-TIME

I enjoyed every bit of it in high school. Middle year in HS he went to other place to study. After HS, we made it as a couple-maybe because I was afraid that he might leave again. But, it failed. My heart was badly broken. I believed it was a rush. We haven’t matured enough yet. I had friends who were great support system and recovered. Then almost 5 years ago the right time came again for us. Gave it a-new fresh start. And now we’re still here, celebrate seconds of togetherness. I am thankful about everything. To him, to us, to the One who made all these possible. I am now with my first love / only-boyfriend-since-birth. Through good times and bad times. We’ll be together. I love you Mr. John Mark C. Refugio / the-best-boyfriend-everrrr. :D

P.S.

I seriously advice high-school STUDENTS to DO the same thing as what I did. A little patience, give respect to yourself. It’s hard but you’ll get over it. Don’t rush things. Enjoy being young, not worrying about immature relationship or being a teen parent. :D

Love,

Ate Kara #a-very-happy-girlfriend

I will post later regarding Breaking Dawn Part1 movie. ;p