Under The Oil Spill

Flewn away

2012-01-24T19:22:00.001-08:00

I’ve traveled through land and seas and recently my new adventure had lifted me up to the air. Yes, my friend. I finally flown in an airplane. Woohoooo! :D I’m just one lucky girl. But the purpose of my travel wasn’t really that successful but I couldn’t sadden myself because I was in for an adventure.

Some of the photos from my trip/kiddie-tour.

I stayed in San Pedro, Laguna. In a village called Villa Olympia, where the family of my friend Joven lived. Thanks to them I’ve saved some money for food whenever my friends and me meet up. My itenerary was dplg-dmgte-cebu-manila-cebu-dmgte-dplg. That was a tiring 2-weeks for me. Through seas - Dmgte, where I spent hours for dinner and to caught up with my HS classmates too. Then cebu, where I stayed a night before leaving to Manila by plane.

When I was in Manila, thank goodness to my friend Joven we traveled suave in the family car and a driver. hahaha I met the whole Ondap household. They’re all oh-oh-awesome. ;p

We went to POEA to start my “purpose” but then I got the worst news ever and so my heart was crushed but was a little hopeful here and there. Just focused on that really eye-shutting-silver-lighting, so there. The whole shinowva turned-out more of a kiddie-tour.

The Wowness of my travel:

The p-l-a-n-e.
The riding on a awesome car with a personal driver in MANILA-land.
Brisk walking most of the time. I think of it as an exercise.
The triple-language we get to practice. Bisaya-english-tagalog.
Don’t I dare to forget. The MRT. Which was also the first-time. (train)
MOA. It was huge. I wished me and my friends rode the eye-of-moa thingy. (ferries-wheel)
That Asian hospital is sure a great place to work.hehe
Pass under a very small tunnel.ahahaha under SLEX.
The Enchanted Kingdom visit was SICK! Rides that kept me whoozy the whole time. FUN.
The Ayala Triangle was beautiful and all the malls and building round Makati and Taguig.
Of course, the great people I’ve met and gained as friends.

On my way home. I gave the family a thank-you card. They deserved better than that actually. But, I surely will miss and remember every bit of my stay there. Just like family. <3 Hope to be back there very soon. :)

I am not a looser. I’m a gainer that' keeps gaining. :D ahahahaha

2012

2012-01-05T08:14:00.001-08:00

Late post :/ Should start with high energy!!!! YAhooooo another year. What’s in store for each and everyone of us? Hmm. Some say it could be the last year and BOOM! End of the world na. Haynaku. I refuse to entertain such thought. I mean whatever natural calamities, sure its gonna happen. Nobody is really ready of such. ( this surely is with negativity) hahah I’m so not myself lately. I feel like I’ve been left behind. People around me surely are happy and doing well in their own lives. But me? At age 23, what significant thing in this world did I ever contributed. ( ah. yes, trash? ) None. Well, maybe I’m being so brutal about myself anyway. Positivity. Positivity. Positivity.

Look, I just beg 1 or 2 things that’ll come true this year. God, Your will be done. I wish to help my mama financially. Yeah, maybe I should pursue my chance to get out of this country and work there. That’s one. And, I just want that everyone that I love shall have good health no matter how abusive they are with their body, just allow it ‘til the time comes that I’ll be stable financially then rocked it with hospital bills. hehe But I guess the most brilliant idea is for them to be SAVED.

2012 please be nicer to me.

Ooops I did it again..

2011-12-15T08:23:00.001-08:00

We all are very aware that Christmas season is already here. All those decors are out on display already. Lights are shimmering-sparkling-aglow.ahaha Colorful surroundings and all the carolers are singing out loud just to receive coins from the people. We must not forget the unforgettable yummy delicious foods and magarang gifts. You know what I mean. ;p Then there is this “simbang-gabi” or '”9-mornings” which mostly Catholic Filipinos are ~~willing~~ to participate. They say it’s a preparation for the coming of the Savior. To be honest, I really think far from those other reason/s. The thing that got my interest: when you complete the “9-mornings” your wish will come……TRUE Hu-waaat! Well, that really got me going. I honestly done/completed once or thrice way back. One thing that I wish then was about my HS crush that we would end up together, the rest were random and common. Other than that, I never really understood it by heart. Total Fail :/

There were questions in my heart that are left unanswered before. Seriously, you don’t go to church and pray on your knees because of the things you wish you’ll have. But a lot. Everything really. This requires a very deep explanation which I think I am not knowledgeable enough but is willing to explain anyway. hehe (if you want to-go-ahead-ask-at your own risk ;p)

Well, I haven’t really mentioned from my past entries that I am Newly-Born-Again-Christian.I found and accepted Jesus as my personal savior. So my “9-mornings” then was a huge fail, personally. But now understanding Christmas on a very different view. With reasons, explanations and deeper thoughts. I feel renewed. I get to see the whole thing in a new perspective. -Being present and aiming for the wish to come true is just shallow.

I am writing this entry because my Aunt said that I should go to 9-mornings to make my wish come true. She wasn’t aware that I have my Jesus with me already. He’s surprising me everyday with different wishes of mine that came true. :D (even-unaware-wishes haha)

I am NEW. Celebrating this Christmas on a different way. :D A treasure/changed within myself. Thankful and so blessed for this year. Though there are reasons also to be sad and be gloom, but as a daughter of God I am capable of moving forward day by day. The one thing that everybody should know by heart- *Christmas is when the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in the manger. *Christ Jesus at the age of 30 was baptized. *Jesus Christ died at the age of 33 on the cross.*Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. *He saved us humans from the dead. Through Him we’ve come to know that THERE IS ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN AFTER DEATH.

Images from web

Just so you know my HS crush is now my boyfriend and we’ve been together for a very long time. He was an instrument of God that I am able to meet Jesus, this very Jesus in my heart. :D I won’t be that sorry that I am not going to 9-mornings starting this year, at least I have the full understanding already about Christmas. :D The joy of everlasting life in heaven after my stay here on earth. Who wanna join me? You? Oh, I know your hesitations. :D But God doesn’t want you to be harmed. So, come with me.

PAnic Under Attack

2011-11-30T01:50:00.001-08:00

Well, My Markidong’s birthday is this coming Friday. Superrrrrr I don’t know what to do on a tight budget. Fail. huhu Even though he said that he ain’t expecting something from me on that day, ‘cause to him he’s even more happier because we’re together. Whateverrrrr. I still want to do something out-of-nowhere. Help me Lord God. Badly wishing for affordable ideas. hehe

ka_Rocks!

Effort

2011-11-25T10:27:00.001-08:00

oks din naman pala mag-tagalog ano. di kasi ako mahilig mag-sulat o mag-salita ng tagaligs hihihi xenxa nah nirerespeto ko naman ang ating sariling wika kaya lang para bang natatakot ako na baka mali.mali..aahh bahala kayo...eh siguro nagsimula ito nung nasa grade school pa ako..lagi kasi maliit lang ang grades ko sa Filipino subject at pinapagalitan ako ng aking mapang.bugbog na nanay(ng pagmamahal yan)hihihi kaya heto si kara laging utal magsalita ng tagalog at malabo magsulat ng tagalog..(kala naman nito talagang marunong mag-english..eh talagang mahina ako nito pake nyo!)..kaya hayan na.trauma ba...tsaka pag.pupunta kami sa bahay nila hana dyos ko para bang torture moments sa akin pag.nandyan mommy nya kasi naman po tagalog sila magsalita.. aba ako lang ang taong kinakapos ng tagalog sa bansang ito...hahaha kawawa naman tong sitwasyon ko at sa pag.bisita ko sa ibang blogs aba tulo laway ko sa kanila. marunong ang mga taong to mag.tagalog( dapat ba akong mamangha talaga?..haha). ako na talagang pinaka.pasaway na Pilipino sa balat ng saging..kainis. kaya dito ko sisimulan sa pag.tahas ng aking sarili sa pagsulat gamit ang salitang tagalog. oks ba yun?

siguro nagtataka kayo ba't hindi ako marunong ano,...pwes higupin nyo to..Oo sa isla ng mindanao ako nakatira at hindi salitang tagalog ang gamit namin dito,..hindi naman talaga ako bobong bis.dak (-BISayang DAKo-) pero sige hinahamon ko ang aking sarili sa pagtatagalog. (Dyos ko kakahiya naman)..At eto pah, talaga naman nakakamangha ang ating pambansang wika kasi para sa 'kin mas malalim ang mga kahulugan o gustong ipinapahiwatig ng salitang tagalog..pero depende din naman sa pag.gamit. ewan ko...(huwag naah bawal sa 'kin mag-isip)
sana maintindihan nyo tong isinulat ko...kung natakot ko man kayo o napatawa. ewan ko kung pwede kong ipagmalaki sa sarili ko sa nagawa ko sa inyong mga hindi masyadong malugod na bumabasa ng blog na ito.. hihihi pero di bale ibubuhos ko lahat ng aking talino at lakas mapabuti lang ang kalunos.lunos na sitwasyon ko...hahaha

sige hanggang sa muli kong pag.sulat (aba kapal..hihihi)

bianca..peace

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The above entry was written 16 February 2007 on this same blog. Memories while still starting this crazy-little-thing-called-BLOG. True love. hehe

Ka-ROcks!

Oooooh ;p

2011-11-25T08:53:00.001-08:00

Ameeyziiiiiiing!

I just can’t get owverrrrr with this movie. Grabeh it’s just like what I imagined while I was reading the book. Bow down to the people behind this film. :D Kristen and Robert now really have that chemistry onscreen. I think it helped a lot now that they are a real couple. Superrrbbbb.

Well, I wasn’t really planning to watch the movie when I was in Dumaguete City 2 days ago. But it was a gift from a friend that I couldn’t refuse. haha I can say this is the movie of the year. I just couldn’t explain it thoroughly. To be honest, to me this movie is the best among the Twilight Saga. So hopefully the 2nd part of Breaking Dawn will take over this one. I love every second of it. I’ll be watching this over and over again :)

Images from web

Bad trip nga lang while watching the movie, there were parts that I would really want to cryyyy but it was awkward because I’m with a friend. #badly-wishing-I-watched-it-with-my-boyfriend :’(

Found the official soundtrack of the movie. “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars. Here’s a video with lyrics. Enjoy!

Another Month ;p

2011-11-24T09:56:00.001-08:00

Happy Monthsarry <3

Another month being together. :D I am not a fan really of keeping tracks on “special days” such as this. But, I couldn’t help it. I tried to avoid making fuss out of it before. I was just afraid I might disappoint myself because I was thinking maybe my partner wouldn’t care also. I was surprised because he’s the one who makes efforts about it. This just made me realized that our relationship is special, might as well celebrate it in a humble way.

The picture above was taken almost 5years ago. At our friend’s home. The only picture we have that looks like we’re a couple. haha ;D To us, everyday is like Valentine’s day. I think all couples should feel that way (even during times of trial). The past few nights before I sleep, memories came rushing back to me when we were still in high school. We were classmates then, and from the moment I saw him - I fell in love. It was love-at-first-sight and he felt the same way too. But we were young and I challenged myself to avoid relationships and I won. So what did I do to enjoy my-little-puppy-love-while-staying-single? (positive way lang ;p)

I studied hard for myself and family and to impress him.
I never told him I like him too. He might think I’m easy.
I was strict. So, no boys ever gets near me even him. So he won’t think I’m a flirt and just plain fair.
Boys whom I can feel that’s treating me differently because he might have liked me, are then avoided.
Boys who courted me was marked “X” immediately on their forehead. I have so much respect for myself and my feelings and I don’t collect and select. I don’t want to take advantage, so as early as possible I tell them the truth that my heart is already set to someone else.
I kept my feelings for him to myself. I still need to grow up and mature, I surely think he does too.
My past time then is to stare at him and making sure I wouldn’t get caught. haha Just being observant and it was fun.
I discovered: When I feel cold, uneasy, my heart would beat faster, shortness of breath, that something ain’t right about me, I would know right then that he is in the area close to me, or walking towards each other at the hallway. Without seeing him first, he was the reason for it. And it never failed me. It’s like I have a radar. haha A-HAPPY-JUST-ME-TIME

I enjoyed every bit of it in high school. Middle year in HS he went to other place to study. After HS, we made it as a couple-maybe because I was afraid that he might leave again. But, it failed. My heart was badly broken. I believed it was a rush. We haven’t matured enough yet. I had friends who were great support system and recovered. Then almost 5 years ago the right time came again for us. Gave it a-new fresh start. And now we’re still here, celebrate seconds of togetherness. I am thankful about everything. To him, to us, to the One who made all these possible. I am now with my first love / only-boyfriend-since-birth. Through good times and bad times. We’ll be together. I love you Mr. John Mark C. Refugio / the-best-boyfriend-everrrr. :D

P.S.

I seriously advice high-school STUDENTS to DO the same thing as what I did. A little patience, give respect to yourself. It’s hard but you’ll get over it. Don’t rush things. Enjoy being young, not worrying about immature relationship or being a teen parent. :D

Love,

Ate Kara #a-very-happy-girlfriend

I will post later regarding Breaking Dawn Part1 movie. ;p

I was thinking…

2011-11-21T19:48:00.001-08:00

Blue eyes… yikes sooo cute! haha

I should visit Vietnam for this.

Should go to Germany for this.

Should travel High Profile sometimes. haha That’s Benz my friend.

China. I will conquer this challenge someday.

Should build it just like this.

Perfect for scribbling, so I won’t have to nag. haha

Must hold the moon for awhile.

Walkable-Roller-Coaster is a thing to try.

Images from http://thefancy.com

To think about these, are just ~~simple~~ things. But comes with so much complications. ;p

Must work hard and pray hard. <3

Valentine on a November <3

2011-11-21T08:55:00.001-08:00

I know Valentine’s Day is still months away. But with all this feeling that I’m feeling right now just don’t fall for the month of November. ;) Just the feeling of being in love and being loved back. No words could ever define such. haha

I’m happy where we are right now. We’re in the middle of everything. But between us, there is God, family,and friends. Couple of nights ago, it’s like I’ve been walking on cloud9. haha

It’s always like the first time we’ve seen each other. It's been a decade ago and it feels just like yesterday lang (;

I love you MR. JOHN MARK C. REFUGIO!!!!!! (until forever lang ha huwag na sumobra.hehe)

Future ?

2011-11-21T08:17:00.001-08:00

To me this is such an inspirational song. I love it.

Whatever happens in the fututre, eh?

Just enjoy every minute of it.<3

Life is beautiful.

Ayan! Positive lang.

haha I am just advicing to myself. ;p

Couples <3

2011-11-17T23:38:00.001-08:00

Say that I’m a stalker. But I’m a stalker for love. Couples are a bit more open nowadays with regards to their love stories. I love to read their statuses or comments on social networks. Which is the most famous way to catch the eyes of the public. The reasons could be as following:

They just want to know the world about their love
They want to inspire others, but I have a strong feeling they just want to
Make others jealous with what they have. lol (coz I feel that way)

Image from web

Of course I agree with the first one, unless it’s a forbidden love isn’t it. Saying “I love you” while the rest of the world would know. Is a feeling of being proud that you are with someone you really care and want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Or to make the rest know you’re already taken. Well, I totally think it’s cute. Secondly, inspiring love stories really empowers other people. Gives hope for the hopeless romantic ones. Thirdly, yes for the bitter people who doesn’t want couples to be together and prove them all wrong. :D

This is what’s happening in this world right now. There’s no sense of boundaries. I’ve seen couples started this way, never mind the people around them just go with their feelings and throw it to the world. The world never minds about it. When they are happy with what’s going on in their relationship they just keep bombarding the world about it. But once there is something wrong they kept it silent to let the people know that they’re perfect with what they have. And then end up separated. I plea to them to be real. If they wanted to make things in public then go all the way. Be it a bad day or a bad conversation. People like me who watch you guys get sad. Because once I would know a couple then I see what they’ve gone through. I start to look up to them and see myself that it could happen to me too. But heartaches and hearts broken into pieces aren’t the things I want for me.(I may have wronged myself because of this habit but this is me.) Well mostly they go for movies, me likey real people. ;p

I like it when they learn to keep things in private and start sharing only when they’re asked to. To me it’s extra special. The things you share events (sad,happy, etc.) that you hold dearly is out in the public’s eyes. You get to be scared because of this action. others will criticized and give their opinions but in the end what matters most is you and your partner.

Everyone have their own love stories, created in a most unique way as possible. But what about others who find themselves in a limbo of being single?(I’m not saying that it’s no fun but two is better than one, isn’t it?) :D Inspiration what keeps us going. So in believing that love do truly exist, brightens up minds and hearts. God is love, you believe that each person in a relationship is God’s given gift for each other. Keeping hopes of finding true love and to know it’s just in the horizon.

And so I still wonder when will I stop this kind of ~~nosy~~ business? hehe I will someday. <3

A Lovely Day even when it’s raining :D

2011-11-17T21:07:00.001-08:00

Images from web

Weather gives us impact or influence on how to start our day right. :D We couldn’t deny that it also affects our emotions.

This morning it rained. I really look forward to sunny everyday because my Mark would have to travel with his motorbike going to work. I don’t want him to get soaked wet and slowing him down to come to me. I want extra time to spend with him in the morning. Gloomy/rainy sky just makes me feel a bit extra emotional. It’s like the end of the world for me. I was born on the month of March. I am proud to be born on summer season.So you could imagine me loving the Sun, beach, flowers, anything associated with summer. They just lift my soul to heaven. I could spend a whole day under the sun or the umbrella for that matter. I love the idea of sweet sweat #fortherecord heheh and ice creams yummmm.I don’t know why but anything special happens in my life falls on summer dayssss .. I’m just lucky enough I have someone that brings forth the sun and turn my mood to hyper hip mode and turn my sad face into a smile even when it’s raining. :DDD Everyday is such a lovely day. <3

How about you? :D

Joy = madness

2011-11-14T02:43:00.001-08:00

A month ago, I went to my HS Principal’s office because I needed my Form137 and a certificate to prove that I really graduated in that school. The secretary told me that it will take longer. It was okay, usually it takes 1-2weeks waiting for the documents to be ready. I went back there exactly 2weeks after,just to make sure all things are ready but I failed. The secretary said it wasn’t finished yet. So okay,I get it. I told her that I badly needed it. Like superrrr BAADDDD. It’s like I’ve gone to the office almost every other day to check the progress and still nothing. Then one day, she said that it’s all done but needed the Treasurer’s signature. But unfortunately the treasurer went out-of-town, then the semestral break came and so expectedly that the staffs especially that secretary would be gone somewhere. Then Halloween. Then 2nd semester started, she said the treasurer isn’t signing any papers, so dead-end again. I personally went to the Treasurer’s Office to confront my aunt/treasurer to sign my papers. Damn! I got super excited and so relieved.Then the paper’s got signed by the School Registrar. So it’s finally overrrrr.

I thought so too. When I went to Pagadian City to submit my authenticated papers last FRIDAY. But unfortunately on the certificate written there I graduted S.Y.2008-2009. Hellooo? I smell Disasterrrrr. I graduated HS S.Y.2004-2005, so it’s impossible that they will honor my papers. Good thing that lady said just to mail the certificate back to DepEd Pagadian office, once it’s okay. Making sure to hurry because all the staff will be going to Zamboanga City for a week long event. So I texted the secretary ahead to redo my certificate and find ways to get it all ready once I get back to Dipolog City. When I had it in my hands the signature wasn’t from the Principal herself. The secretary said it was the OIC who signed because the principal was in a seminar. But the DFA won’t honor such thing. Failed! So I told her on monday I have to have it!

What happened this morning? I texted her early that I will get the certificate. She texted back that her class is on 9-10am. WTF! she really is saying I gotta wait? Then I went there at the office 11am. But she said she will look for a computer cafe to print out my paper and WAIT. I’m soooooo pisssed off. It’s 12nn, I texted her if she is still having her lunch, because I am after for the cut-off time to deliver a mail to Pagadian City. She texted back: No, I am printing your paper at my own expense. Wow! namaaaannnn. Hanep ka rin anoh?

Of course. Do you think it should be mine? For handing me the certificate that I end up the one should go to the principal to have her sign it and to have it dry-sealed too. Wow! You really got into my nerves. Me doing your job. So until now it’s not yet finished because the principal wasn’t around in the school campus this afternoon also the School Registrar. So I will go back there again tomorrow. Hope it will all be over. Then, I’ll bury them in my darkest dark memory.I didn't even got a SORRY from you secretary, for all the delays and troubles you've caused me. Damned girl!
Please secretaries from all over the world do your job well.

SECRETARY

Kara Vs. Zombies

2011-10-17T00:47:00.001-07:00

Until when shall I pay for the ”debt of gratitude" ? I think I’ve been paying for it. And I just can’t take it while they’re taking advantage of me. Ok, I was hurt when that lady blurted sharp words over the phone like I’m somebody’s bitch. Because I’M NOT. And I can’t just let it pass. Yes, past is past. All that I want is to let those zombies realized that they should STOP doing their usual business, bringing emotions and characteristics of other people down and start treating them with respect. Stop eating others' brains!!

I think I had enough. If only papa is around he would understand my situation, unlike mama. Should I wipe their shits off their asses? Should it be enough to pay for it? I did finished school. I passed the board exams. I had series of jobs. I do have a boyfriend (which they see as a negative thing) and getting married is not even our main priority. This doesn’t mean having a small brain. I just don’t want to go there and pretend while facing the zombies. I don’t want to see that B*tchvian. Lola is A-okay, of course, nothing’s wrong with our relationship.It’s just we don’t see each other. That’s all, and other apos don’t see her as well but that’s normal. Yeah yeah, it might be too late or whatever. Look, the most important person, most valued person in my life is my papa. He’s gone now and I don’t see anybody who fits in his shoes to replace him in my life. I look up to him. Yeah the zombies, they’re my relatives but I don’t want to poison my brain again. I owe much wisdom from my papa. I could see clearly all their dirty tricks. Clearly my mother is one of them so she sees me now as a villain for not coming with her in visiting those zombies. I don’t want them to eat my brain.

The uber-zombified person is B*tchvian. She has the thing called mind-control. She’s a powerful brain-washer and puts in your mind that when you DON’T follow everything she says, she’ll make sure you’ll lick the fire of hell. Well I just proved to you my dear reader I overcame the situation and I still have my brain. I’m enjoying my life just staying away from her.

And I’d like you to meet the other sister, an uberly-zombified person Nunchess.This, my friend is the kind of zombie at first glance she would actually look like an angel. But once you know her, she slowly add seasonings to your brain, cook it then eat it.

I had enough feeding them with energy and all my effort. I think they ate a small part of my brain long time ago. So I needed to grew them back!!!! Grrrrrr Hearing them talking shits you don’t want to know and yet you will know because they’re talking about it, it’s like pouring gas to myself and light myself on fire. They’re back-biters, they have all the negativity in this world. And passing their unique habit to the next generation? I just had to end it. I’m tired staring up to them. My eyes are all burnt from all madness they’re doing. Just because of that “debt-of-gratitude” I have to go through all the darkness AGAIN? All I have to do now is to stay away from the zombies. I’m still weak and facing them is not my dream yet. I know there’ll be issues again in the future and might involved my relationship with my boyfriend and my personal relationship with The Creator. I just have to be ready.

If ever I went there. What could have happen? It’ll be awkwaaaaaaard. It wouldn’t be the same as before. It’s too painful to be forgotten soon. I didn’t even received or heard an apology. So be it. I know there are people who support me in this battle and I have the most powerful MAN in my heart. To forget is to stay away and not be reminded always of the situation.

Zombieeees!!!!! Bring it on.

Wohoohooho…

2011-10-13T01:29:00.001-07:00

Waaaaah got stung by a bee this morning on my finger. :c Bees are like swarming all over our house. Especially in the evening when all the lights are on. There’s so many of them. I was thinking that I’ll just fry them and eat them. They’re so annoying. And each week there’ll be like 1 to 2 victims be stung by ‘em. Haayy. Super painful and gosh when it swells, and the itchiness and the bruise when it’s all over. Wish I could make money from them, like all those honey and by cooking them ofcourse. (bitter)

I want to share a place where you could actually spend time with the bees. But not in our home, definitely. It’s called Bohol Bee Farm. Found in Panglao Island, Bohol, Philippines. It was way back 2009. I was with my boyfriend. He was based in Tagbilaran, Bohol at that time. I had a chance to visit him and brought me to places that are famous. So one was this bee farm. At first I got scared, first thing that cross my mind was ‘will they attack when they’ll see such an intruder?’ But out of curiosity and might as well enjoy the travel and all the sceneries going there, so we hit off. We went there by a motorcycle. Traveling in the afternoon, the sun fried our precious skin. The place is like half to an hour travel from Tagbilaran City, depends on the mode of transportation by the way. So when we got there you could see the receiving area and all those souvenir items sold there. The receptionist greeted us and informed us that we were late for the tour so we should wait for 20 minutes ‘till the first batch will be finish. We waited there and took pictures. Below are pictures I got from the internet. I don’t have the photos we actually took because of some matters.hehe ( I only sneaked from my parents just to be in this island, that’s why I didn’t have copies for discreet purposes. ;p)

That time it was only Php20.00 per head to avail the tour around the vicinity and as mentioned it will take 20 minutes. My boyfriend and I thought it will be just the two of us for the next batch but then just minutes after there are tourists arrived and we’re now a crowd. We get to wear native hats along the tour. The tourist guide showed us their garden of some vegetables that you find only on cooking shows. Well they grow them there for their very own restaurant which serve only organic food. Might be mouth watering on what they can be in the dishes (for the fanatics of the green team, or it might change my perception about them once tasted.hahaha). The tour itself wasn’t boring, there’s interaction among the tourists, the guide would raise questions and me and my boyfriend would just stare at each other being so clueless and shy because we’re like the youngest among the group. ;p We just let the “old ones” answer.hahah So we finally arrived to the “thing” which made the place famous. The BEES.

They were in cages. Yehey! Goodness. So they won’t sting us, that’s a relief. Well they were kept there so the honeys can be collected from those screens or something. Sorry for the very poor information.heheh Tourists can hold those screens filled with bees and take some pictures. Just like that in the picture, I think he’s a tourist guide or something.heheh They aren’t scary to look at but expect the Buzzzzzzzing sound they create. ;) In the area they have villas and restaurant and a pool quite big which is by the way located in the center of the restaurant itself. Quite amazing. I could remember there was also a play area such as darts and table tennis. Actually the place is just located along the beach. So you could see long stretch of cool blue water. Just staring at the scene makes you relax. There was also an area where tourists could observe creative workers making crafts that are sold in their souvenir store. One that caught our attention was their ice cream station. Yummmm! But reading through the labels of flavors they were like made from kalamunggay and other leafy vegetables I couldn’t even remember the names.hahaha I’m not a fan of those greeny guys so I kind of backed off. But they’re so interesting to look at and might try one. So I ordered scoops of avocado flavored icecream. Yehey! Tasted good. hahaha Yeah, I know what’s in your mind, it’s a fruit. I know right? Because I got so curious and I don’t want to poison myself so an avocado is a good idea.hahahah The photo below is the kind of ice cream they serve there. Got from the internet. Not mine. Actually all the photos aren’t mine, okay…

Might visit there again in the future. Bringing my very own Queen Bee.hahaha Or I’ll ask something about doing THE BEE BUSINESS. Kicking off. For now I have to deal with my stinging bees here. Sigh.

Goodness.

2011-10-12T00:23:00.001-07:00

I finally changed skin.hahah after gory hours of learning how to do it. Before I have my friend who’s good at this, so I usually just ask her politely to change anything regarding the templates of my blog and all. Now I guess it’s time that I should be doing it. But I admit, I still don’t know how to sort the things such as the archives and the about me corners. Forgive me on that. I have to wait for the next kick of adrenaline and patience so I could get to learn it. But as of now I’m happeee. :) Good job. Yeah.heheh

The thing that’s behind some entries that doesn’t have titles because my previous skin would never show it. So I just start on my scribbling anyway.tsk Now I can and I will have titles for my entryyyy. :p Ooooh change, I’ve been so hungry for you.heheh

I wonder if my friend still visits this site. Well, she’s the only entity who knew about this next to me. And I even wonder if others would get to read any of these stuff I wrote. Well, in the first place it wasn’t really my intention that you know, I’d be like those well known human beings who are constantly updating and posting photos in everyday of their lives and fans follow them. Well here is likely private. But it’s really been private and I guess it’s safe to say that I can do anything with this and nobody will criticize but ME. ;p

Yes! Finally a photo. I can see my picture here.haha That’s happiness.

2011-10-11T19:52:00.001-07:00

I guess.

I guess, we’ll be seeing each other more in the future. Ohhhh. hehe We’ll be spending online for the rest of my daysssss. heheh. Nothing much going on. I miss watching NBA much. Season hasn’t started yet. And news yesterday they’ll be canceling the first 2 weeks of pre season games. How sad. But then again, it’s not like it’s gone forever. Soooooper excited about that. :p Anyhow, I’m happy that I can post crazy thoughts as often now and hopefully will post photos too. I haven’t done that in years. I also have to learn how to change styles… But I really have a feeling of home here in blogger.

Welcome to my home… :) which is under the oil spill by the way.haha

2011-10-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

Unlimited!

I just want to share something that is worth a good-short-laugh.:)

My boyfriend and I really love each other in every way. Like me, I am really afraid to offend him in anyway. So if there is a circumstance that I am offended, I just smile back at him. '______' Well, a sarcastic smile to be more specific. But you know, my boyfriend is good in ignoring the signs. Though you know it's more easy to just confront him about it, and address the situation. But like any other girls, it is always the long process.:p hahaha (admit it, you!) He knows that it's something that I couldn't agree and he still show it or do it. I just do my best to ignore or just make face at him. And then he would asks me if my love for him decreased, and I would smile and answer 'yes, definitely.'as a joke. And he would laugh at me and then tease me or something. And I'll smile with no traces of disappointment. I mean littlest things he does for me will make me happy or pinch my heart at the same time. But at the end of the day it's still him I want to be with for the rest of my life.

Unlimited love <3

2011-09-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

what was high school like?

personally, it really changed my outlook in life. i had to go down to see where should i stand in life, i learned to value people, i learned that i should surround myself with happy people 'cause i'm quiet and shy. i have to do my best in class not because i know i can but not to embarrass myself to my crush. i'm not always the first when it comes to fashion or one of the best looking girls in high school, but that was it... molding myself to the person i am now.

all i wanted before high school class started are friends, new set of classmates for sure. you know what? it has been 10 years since we all knew each other but until now it just feels like we're freshmen over and over again every time we all meet up .

like i said i am shy and reserved. so i was fond of listening to people and looking observing on things around me. so much going on in my mind. searching for answers to questions about life. is it found through people around you? on how much influences they've rub off unto you. while thinking how much money do i have in my pocket to buy snacks and for fare.

it was in high school i fell in love with books and writing. it was when my mind was talking to myself so loud i wish others could hear 'em but with no guts, yes they we're left unsaid and forgotten.

it was in high school that i started to appreciate people of different gender and respected them in their own senses. it was in high school i fell in love, with no one to everrr talked to because i was sooo sure i could handle it myself when in fact i was at my breaking point. i was afraid to share my emotions and heartaches because they might just laugh about it, and i was damn sure they are also darn busy with their own love problems that mine wouldn't be much of an interest.

you see in high school, all i could firmly and clearly remember was my experience being in love. it wasn't the exams or the oral recitations. yes, although you can share it to others or your hs friends and laugh about it. but being in love in high school taught me to be human.

human, in a way that all my senses are at it's peak. it's like my surviving skills we're tested. well, as i said all i wanted was to gain friends. oh yes, i did gained, a lot in fact. but few we're worthy.

1st day.

when i was searching for a sit in a crowded room full of yagits ( means kids in a local dialect) my peripheral vision caught a particular person sitting at the back as i was walking. i was pretty sure we hadn't been introduced but a name just flash in my mind that says john mark. it's like those news channels on the bottom part where you'll be able to read the headlines. it's just there. well i haven't confirmed it yet, of course i was shy. but i couldn't stop myself from glancing once in a while to that dark handsome guy that's chatting with his friends and keeps laughing with them. i just had a feeling that i knew him. that somewhat we'll be dealing much in the future.

that night. a phone call, strange it was a man's voice, asking if we have assignments for tomorrow. it was him. you know what? i happen to know i have a heart that would jump out of my system then i couldn't breathe, and i was getting cold. i couldn't explain it. and how the hell did he have my number when i only give to the girls. i answered back that we don't have any-end of conversation. the next day i knew why he has my number because unknowingly, a girl really asked for my number thinking it was really her cellphone she was using but then it was his. so there, a coincidence?

i always thought that classes starts at 6.30am so by 6.15 i have to leave my house. so when i arrive, the spectacular sunlight making it's way through the branches and leaves of the trees surrounding the campus and the perfectly green grass fields and the fogs that early morning coldness creates welcomed me. as i sat on one of the benches near my room which still wasn't open because there was still no one around as early as i was. so there waiting for more high school students to arrive then him, mark would be there sits near me but wouldn't say a word. it would only be minutes or sometimes mark and i would almost always get there at the same time. well i didn't knew then he just lives near the school,so no wonder he would get there early.

i wasn't paying attention to my looks back then. all i know is that i don't look like a witch, just a plain school girl. i'm not the kind who always have powders, combs, and colognes in their pockets. i don't really care. i just want to learn. carefree. but sometimes i get to be conscious, and compared myself with those really beautiful and classy people. i had to learn myself. the whole structure of me, what i was built. then i knew each and every one are not alike, i deserved to love me.

i wasn't struggling for good grades because i just knew i can pass because i believe
in what i can do. and i've proved it. i was gaining a little bit of independence along the way.

but the real battle was always about love. finding that one person that would truly love me back. was never a priority. but somehow i know it will come but then again i never expected that it would hit me hard early in high school. and honestly i never had a boyfriend back then. that guy i was talking about was and is the first guy that i truly love and got my heart broken.

but before it all ended up in tragedy. i have cute stories to share. he was the first guy i ever had a date with. actually a friend sort of paid for it, and i swear it was only for 5 pesos date. it was intramural week so there was blind date booth. well i told only a girl friend that i have a huge crush on him but never really actually would want to go ahead for that game. so there we were in that room blind folded, i was peeping through it. there were people in the room watching us, which was also distracting. that was when we first held hand. and i was sweating like a pig.

my reflexes wouldn't fail me. every time i would move my head it would only point to him and i just stare at him. i couldn't perfectly describe the feeling of it but i was trying my best to get to know him even without asking him personally (hahaha i was just afraid). i don't usually asked around but people talk. i just listen. so i knew then that he is of different faith than mine. but i made my decision even before i knew it, that i would gladly change my religion for the person that i love. whoah! i had no idea.

i would look at him and yes he would complete my day. but i was pushing my feelings away. that he will just hurt me in the end. and yes, i wasn't wrong. i found out one day he had a girlfriend and on that day i was scheduled to go to the dentist have my tooth extracted. and after that first extraction my doctor asked if i would want the other tooth also be pulled. and so i decided to go for it. the pain isn't too bad to handle after all but the one in my heart was unbearable. i have to move on. i see him every day, but i have to just look somewhere else. i even saw them together, how i wish i would just rip them off. but ofcourse i was just a nobody. he was a soccer player so the team travel much. i entertained guys who said they liked me. i get to talk to them. but i realized why is it i can't do these things with him. one of his team mate had a crush on me. so that guy keeps calling me every night. the team was away and he might have heard that the other guy was courting me. while i was in my bed. scribbling notes from my mind. i drew a cartoon that a girl in her room is thinking that her crush would call him. and immediately after that my phone rang, i answered and it was him on the other line. he was asking if i liked him but i was afraid to say yes, for a reason that he happens to have a girlfriend. so sad.

fast forward 10 years later.

we've moved on. i finished school, passed the boeard exam. i'm in a relationship now. a serious one. mature one. my partner is the best. he makes me laugh. who's always there for me. he takes care of us. he has a job. we almost agree and disagree at times. we're both happy. i couldn't ask for more. his name is john mark. yes it was him 10 years ago. see, i was pretty sure we'll end up together. <3 prayers are answered. just have faith. and now i'm still crazy in love with him, actually he feels the same. and i've changed my faith, i'm now a christian and i'm glad we have found the director of our lives, God. who is the center of our relationship. we both go to church together, which makes it even great. :)

we have history that we can share together and just laugh about it. through everything we learned to value people and ourselves, our emotions, i learned many things. i know that i am living a more meaningful life. we're both looking forward to a good future together an our very own family. :)

So thank you high school for everything. life's lesson learned from scratch. <3

2011-09-21T01:39:00.000-07:00

Do What You Want!

Well, I've been sitting in front of this computer and yet it seems that my daily routine is what exactly really happens. I have the smallest online world everrrrr.

It's not that it's a big thing or something but you know, picturing others' that have so many connections to the outside of their trusted circle. I'm just wondering how did they able to cope up with it?

People now a days are just constantly communicating. Do they even have time to miss each other?

My boyfriend and me used to be like that but not in social networking sites that we should be greeting each other with our good mornings and all. That other people should notice. Or saying I love You to the public. But really, is there a need to do all the cheesy stuff out into the open?

Instead of that, aren't we supposed to just talk sense of every topic we should be posting?

2011-09-21T00:58:00.003-07:00

Da When?

When I was in Cagayan de Oro for job training, I lived at my aunt's house. She was surprised that I and my cousin Andrew were there. I told her my purpose and she welcomed us in her home. She then asked why I was still here in the Philippines. She thought I was already in America. But I wasn't because I still have to accomplish some major requirements for it, including 2 years' experience in the hospital. I didn't know then that one of her daughters is a nurse in Saudi Arabia, who also got married to a doctor there who holds a higher position in the hospital she is working. Now, my aunt told her my situation that I am working in a car company nowhere near being a nurse. So then she offered me an offer of a lifetime. To work there, with her help. Voila! I am now sorting out my papers for me to work there too. (I am smiling on this part :DDD) Truly who wouldn't be marvelled about it? Being a nurse and work at the rate your supposed be paid, well that is one in a million situation.

I tried to be discreet of anything, regarding travels, papers that I'm working on. And trusts few friends to share the real score and also are helping me. I just want that when everything is ready, that the only thing left to do is to fly, that is when I truly want the facts to really sink within me. And then I can share the whole story to others.

But as of the moment, I wish to shut our mouths about it. But, now things are almost out in the open so I guess just let it be. Hopefully, God willing that I'll be able to get over the hardship, money matters, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and all wally wally needed just for me to be ready with no hindrances within me when I fly and work.

Whew.. it's really not easy.

Dai and Dong = Belle and Pit,

2011-09-21T00:58:00.001-07:00

Dai and Dong = Belle and Pit,

Finally a wish came true. My boyfriend and I used to call each other Dai and Dong. We avoid being too corny and cheesy when it comes to terms of endearment. On Dai and Dong, it's not too embarrassing to call around people. I know it's not too sweet, it even sounded like we're yaya and hardinero nang isang mansyon lang naman J. Well, it sounded more like humility and respect rather than sugary.

Coolness as it sense. But that's how it defines us. Weeks ago we decided to push to try different name calling because another couple whom is close to us is using the same names. And to be honest we're not in the position to change. But I'm just too pissed off by them and even my boyfriend says so. Yesterday we brainstormed about it for hours we couldn't think of any. Until we arrived to each house and started texting, he came to cross saying I'm "belbel" (because I do happen to have slightly big belly :DDD). I thought of calling him Pete/Pit. Pete stands for feet, which he loves to scratch and could also be spelled as Pit, because of armpit I do happen to love smelling that part of his bodyJ.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking too disgusting. Exactly, that's the point. Belle and Pete, really sounds like too happy and in love couple, right? :DDDD But not disgusting, it will be like this for a week lang naman. It's official; we're now Belle and Pete/Pit.

Blissful. It even makes me shed a tear. Lol :DDD

Who?

2011-09-05T20:34:00.001-07:00

I've been with my friends for a decade already. Since high school through college days. I never really imagined that we would stick to each other like this. Somehow there are times that we all have to be separated because of migration, jobs and of course with work to other places. But you know how technologies are now a days. Things, such as communication seems just a click away. We would make an effort to say hello among each other.

Through struggles, be it financially, families, love problems, be it faith, school. It brings us closer even more. To the nonsense things to most highly appreciated expensive pleasures. We're all there. The girls are referred to be one of the boys (am proud to be one). And ironically the boys are very sensitive among the ladies, protective in many ways; respect you a hundred per cent. That's just something you rarely find among men. We share our ups and downs. Though we all make fun of each other it never really means to degrade you at some point. They call it trash/street talk. It ranges from disgusting things to topics with much sense. Damn, I consider them genius. I guess things really happen for a reason. We just needed each other. Then you can say the best things in this world are priceless indeed.

Food and drinks are the right ingredients to make a gathering worth remembering. No, we don't or rather we rarely go to bars and dance. But we stay in the corner of the streets and own it. A never ending conversation. I guess that's why there are liquors because its role is to end the night when all are just too drunk to talk. J

We all have our best buddies among us. We never get jealous, we just know a fact that there is also a level of closeness and we respect it. Most of us are single or in a serious relationship. In a relationship status meaning the partner is aware to the attitudes and characters of each one of us. It's NOT required that he/she should hang out always. If there is privacy needed, yeah you guys can have that.

And there is this guy that for a long time been the girls' "frenemy". Though a constant bother and truly an annoying person. Gals and guys find him well, a true friend. The one who will say "you're stupid." But you guys just laugh about it. Well he might have previous relationship that was serious enough to shut us out of his life but then when it ended we were there for him. He once said that to pull him out of a love spell WHEN it would suck him again to stupidity. I don't believe that there is a wrong love but there is a wrong partner and he's a constant magnet to that. And I'm proud to say he's back in his old ways.

The "it girl" is a real treasure. A Goddess …

Who with a right mind to degrade or look down the friends of her partner? When in FACT they were there even before you guys known each other.

Who didn't even make an effort to know his friends? Thinks like a star that couldn't be touch.

Who thinks "I'm too rich to be friends with your level?"

Who talks trash and bad words? Quite a character for a very well brought up girl (?).

Who is oozing with insecurity? Who prevents him from communicating with friends in high school, when she's aware of their closeness?

Who is also your employer for whatever she says you have to do it?

Man, when you're in love you never really seem to see a BITCH in a person. How much mess are you going to put it up with? Love is never like that. It's never insecure. And never fight for wrong reasons. That's just plain LAME.

Don't get too attached my new girl "frenemy", because you admit you're still a school girl. For saying that we don't do something more productive in our pathetic lives, well we've done that. We have licenses to slap you in the face that says we're allowed to just SIT PRETTY the whole day and annoy you. Why don't you just focus in your studies than be bothered with your insecurities?

Yes, we're old enough and please don't lose your respect to us because we know better that your own perspective. I'd rather be old than have your level of understanding.

Your attitude doesn't make you pretty at all. You have to check reality; your friends may be at your side all the time because of your money but not really with your personality.

You have to constantly feed them because they might get hungry, and LEAVE their once called master.

So, if I were you, better start your New Year's resolution NOW.

……

Who are you again?

2011-08-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

Scramble.Scrambled. Iskrambol.

Whatever is happening right now, is just not right. I've been feeling this pain in my chest and difficulty of breathing for hours. Stress indeed. Don't know where, how to get rid of it.

Have to stir clear with my thoughts. Deep breathing. C'mon you gotta work.

2011-07-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was in highschool my papa gave me a bouquet of red roses during my class on a Valentine's day. Thank you so much for your love pa. I'm so proud that you are my papa. I love you so much and I will miss you and your kisses on my forehead.

2011-05-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

There is this couple. I really looked up to them. I loved them like they're part of my life. And then after 5 long years they decided to end it up. Nobody really knows the real story behind. It crushed me inside. But their courage is unbelievable. To leave what they used to have behind and move on to another life, is extremely devastating. But hey, if they're not happy anym0re then be it. What comes into my mind now is this, mind your own business. Yeah, i got so attached to them thinking that someday that will be my story. Well, it shouldn't be now that's for sure. As for me, i met the person i want to be with for the rest of my life. Let all those who don't believe in forever be hunters. For me, you have to think of the basics in life. Simplicity isn't hard to achieve same with relationships. Fight if it's really worth fighting for. 'Cause it's when you appreciate each other's existence. It will blossom in silence and just let others notice it. If they say there's more to life than this.. You'll say more will come in God's time. For now, is this. <3

2011-05-06T10:50:00.001-07:00

Hi there! I don't want to be bitter. But people please calm down when it comes to speaking up your minds. Yes, yes i kn0w that we want our ideas to be heard. But aren't we have enough of it already in just a day? What would it matter to this world? I know,that there's always an urge to jump and join the rush, but is it en0ugh or even is it important? A world of fast changing technologies..it sounds scary though. I gotta say. Aren't we suppose to keep things in private be in private,and let the public stay in the public.

Under You!

2011-03-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

I just need to breathe. With a lot of things going on. I don't know. I can't juggle and stay focus into something ain't coming. I've long waited for it to come but it will only be in my dreams? How sad it is.

Listenin'

2011-03-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

Last night I listened to the radio and I got a surprise. I was listening to my old favorite songs. Made me think of the younger years when I was just a teenager having all those funny feelings like infatuations, all those stuffs. <3

I'm happy that I survived that stage. I mean being a teenager was a hell. High school days were chaos. You wanted to belong to a peer or just be left behind.

***

2009-09-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

WTF!

I had the weirdest dream last night.

In my dream: I was about to sleep when suddenly a long time friend showed up. We haven't seen each other for ages. And there he was. Well I was partly happy and confused. What the hell is he doing in my crib? But I can see he was happy too that he was there.

Then suddenly we were in a different place. It was night time and raining. We're both soak and wet. (Just like you see in movies. Really sounds unrealistic.) And then we're running in the street to find a shed somewhere.

So we're alone in a cold night standing side by side. So many questions ran in my mind. I asked him what is he doing here with me? Where is his girlfriend? We just sat there. And he started talking. He said he left his gf in a hotel in the city after falling to sleep and went looking for me. I felt like my hair grew faster instantly. But there is no way I'd be happy about that. He was just a friend and I have a boyfriend too. So there must be a mistake in this story. I should be with my boyfriend. Hello?

We kissed. Whooooooah! Is this really necessary? I know I love my boyfriend. In my mind: What are we doing? This is crazy. And then finally finally it ended. Yeah it's like now we know we are not really meant for each other. Hey! Thanks for dropping by in my dream fella. haha!

Damn.

Seriously wrong.

But I'm glad I'm back in the real life.

I miss my panini. I'll see you soon.xoxo

kara

2009-09-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

Astronaut...

Experiencing the vastness of the outer space. No worries regarding people invading your privacy. Carefreee wiiiiii haha

But a bit lonely. It's just plain simple. Just overlooking what's surrounding you. Peace.....

2009-06-24T02:47:00.000-07:00

She's an inspiration.. They're so cute together. They even travel everywhere. How Awesome is that?

2009-01-22T09:58:00.000-08:00

Mind in action.

": So what is it you want to say now?
k: nothing.
":Spit it.
k: I have a question.
Why is it at Buyog they don't serve fried buyog?hehe

ka_roocks

2009-01-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

3 in the morning...

just droppin by to say i miss doing this...

xoxo to my blog =)

I hope I could still think at this moment. we'll see where this is goin'
*******

Yesterday morning when I woke I checked the time woooaaah wel it was 5:58 a.m.- the past few days were like waking up later than that. So I was amazed. Then went back in forcing myself to absorbed every second that I could help myself to increase my number of sleeping hours but failed again.

How much more now, right?

Why am i depriving myself to sleep? I think 'cause I got used to it. But don't be silly, of course I know it's not that good. If I could improve myself in doin' the right thing? it would destroy the equilibrium of the earth. Such a catastrophe (sigh) heheh

Well well well

Nothin much to say but thanks for checkin out this site...

I forgot there were embarrassing infos written all over but I have nothin to hide

I rarely come visit here because it's time consuming and brain freezing. I'm just a typical pen and paper kind of person. =)

So what have you been up to lately huh?

Just wish you're doin fine...

i miss you

This week is somewhat turning into hell

research exams name it they're all in this week duty too

oh, thanks for telling me those stuffs it's really nice to know what are the things that crosses your mind i really appreciate it

ay el-ow-vi-i way-ow-yu

and always will

XD

il take my zzzzzzzzzzz now

ka_roocks

Foot and Mouth Disease

2008-12-10T04:36:00.000-08:00

Those chicks couldn't find their own cats. I don't like to brag about their business but I just can't help it. I won't bite into their wicked plans. Wish I'm dumb enough but I'm not. Get things straight ladies. You can't have what is not meant for you. Just build a bridge and get over it.

The vices that I love to hate. When you're out with friends and leaving me behind drawn in a magical world. I couldn't stop thinking of what's happening. I ought to know those stuffs. I'm part of you (that is if you still remember) . You can't take away my worries.

Yeah maybe I want my share of freedom. Without thinking that maybe you'll be worried too. I hate this. Maybe I wanted to make things fair but it isn't that way always. I have broken myself just like what you told me. But we both learned. We'll take what is now and go on with it.

...

2008-08-16T23:29:00.000-07:00

Peace
...........
tonight I'll fall in love all over again with you
.............................................................................
wish you're with me
...................................
tears in my eyes
.............................
just missing you so
................................
--karabianca--

2008-08-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
You'll always be a part of me

no i won't beg you to stay

NOtice you noticin me..

2008-07-25T00:24:00.000-07:00

lurking in the darkest part of my nestville..there's no way to escape. In flames I'm amazed. The noise I'm hearing I can't obey. When I wanted you to see this, you're afraid. Don't know where to go.

I dream t of the sand along a long stroke of beach line. With blue water keep kissing the luscious white shore. I watched the sunrises above me companied with the white clouds and sky so blue. I waited for it to set. Sitting on the bench under the shade of a tree. Wind keeps reminding me of its presence as the scenario almost took my breath away. Why I wanted to be alone? Peace is securing my safety.

ayyt

lovefool

haha

bianca

Find myself coming back to you

2008-06-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

-miss the happenings
-but there are things reminding me of 'em
-difficulties are always at its best
-trying to figure things out
-taking one step at a time
-I can't believe I'd be an object of analysis
-seeing through
-while some just staring at you blankly
-my own story goes blah blah blah
-I am loosing all control
-you're everything I wanted and more
-time is my best friend
-not a fan of sleep
-we're making mends
-how could you heal a broken heart
-thought I couldn't afford to have broken wings and soul too
-guess it's good to be this way
-reminding again I'm alive and kicking
-this wound ain't healing fast enough
-where is the proper management
-AN INSULT TO THE INJURY
-the hills been there ain't going nowhere
-keep missing
-wipe my tears
-touch my face
-look into my sad eyes
-what you've been up to?
-I was thinking of club hoppin'
-can i just have some funnnnn

...........................................
bianca
...........................................

2008-04-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

Looking for trouble.
waaaaa why am i not getting enough of him
we went a year of officially being into this sweet having little tampururut moments in our lives
well we never spent it in a very romantic way but from what i have observed
there is this a bit serious and wacky stuff both of us are into more and more while
hanging around with each other (as if we're close physically hahaha)
weeee we're happy that we have each other. i'm glad that he's also into this very much
he's putting us close to his heart.wahahahahaha
those sweet words I'd love hearing from him. He's not tired of telling me though
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

we soooo iiin looooove

:) <3

me and he happeeeee

together

2007-11-28T03:08:00.000-08:00

Where you've been for that last few days? Been trying to connect but there is nothing to expect. Same thing goes along. I'm being left alone. Do you still remember me? Keep wondering and hoping you still. Missing things been trying to fill them up. But knowing the fact that it can't be replaced. Blew my face with so much sadness. I can't move. My mind still thinks of us. Unfairly.

nonsense. try listening to Battle by Colbie Caillat. Beautiful song. :)

2007-11-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

They told me to get out of the graveyard that I made for myself. The line that most of my friends keep telling about the affair that I'm in. It's a long distance so it's the kind prone to temptations and lies that would eventually lead to broken heart, pain, tears, and some went to the other life.

I give full attention to their concerns for me. They are my friends. I know they won't turn their backs when the earth under my feet shakes. They are scared for me. They worry alot about me.

The reasons: I'm here in my place being a good girl while my boy is living in a far away land. For me, he's doing the good deeds just not to tear my paper heart. Keeping in touch most of the time. And telling things like what he's been up to and the worries. Typical conversations that normal couple have but the absence of each earthly bodies.

The worry: My friends think that he is not exerting effort in our relationship more than I do. Simply they think that I'm the one who's loving more in our situation. Which they think is unfair.

Me: When you love someone does it really matter of who's loving more or less? The moment that I made up my mind about falling inlove is that give my love to someone whom I think never seen the light of day. My mind was telling me to be a saviour perhaps or a challenge for myself . If I'll be able to stand up for my decision long enough. Through all the pain and sufferings. And until now it's right in me. I couldn't get rid of it. 'Cause simply I'm enjoying the game that I'm in. And I have stayed true which I already proved to myself . But why is it I'm not letting this go? When you love, is it the end of everything? Or the beginning of a new chapter? Does it mean it's over when everything seems to be going at the right way? Maybe I wanted more. I couldn't get enough that's why I'm staying.

I know that we are at our best behaviour. Though there are little misunderstandings but eventually get fixed. We are open to suggestions and we talk like best friends. Look, we are not imitating the past we are renovating for the future. And so far so good. Success is still in the process and we are having fun along with it. The unexpected greetings that comes anytime of the day it melts our souls.

Do you think I should be living a life without him? Do you think I'm not happy knowing we have each other? That's why they are asking me to leave.

I know in the end my decision shall prevail. But I'm ready to face the consequences. I have it in my mind. When all else fails, I'll cry and get sad. Who wouldn't?

End

2007-10-09T01:14:00.000-07:00

How I wish I could be somehow the very person that anyone would want me to be. But it doesn't work that way. Typically all I know we have our differences. That's all we have and change goes along with it. People act dirty some get hurt and felt the pain. WTF am I thinking? I don't own this world. I shouldn't put in my head "The World According To Me" 'cause I'll get myself into trouble. Maybe I have some things in mind but better yet I'll keep it to myself. And if someone maybe said something that might have offended me in one way or the other. Damn it. I'm the one who asked for it. So I put the blame on me.

Truth hurts and that is that. Deal with reality.

2007-09-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Get things started without even starting it, has been my entire guide for the past weeks in doing my tasks. I'm trying to change things but at the end of the day I find myself the same old me again. I wonder if life just has a hanging point (Why am I wondering when in fact I feel that way.). Weird. So when would be the twists of life come again and make my life a little bit interesting. I find myself thinking of the future right now. And it's a positive one. That's a good sign.

I'm trying to push away this part of my entry 'cause it's too corny but I just can't help myself not to write anything about the other side of the rainbow. It's been two months and twenty days since the last time I was with my guy. And to think about the things we've been through it felt like years. But there is no way we'll be able to see each other again. It'll be in a very long time. I hope we still belong to each other by that time comes. I admit that sometimes I can't assure myself that my bf, who is living at the other side of this world, is being true to me. Likewise, I know that he thinks that way towards me. But I can assure the world I'm being honest in this relationship. Too dramatic. And if you don't trust me I don't care. I have my conscience guiding me and a heart and mind that's telling me to be a loyal gf. And I don't feel I'm having a hard time doing it. In fact I'm enjoying it. But does he? well he tells me that he is.hahaha Anyway, I can say in the end if all this wouldn't end up a happy ever after at least I stayed true. So what?! if I invested a long time in this relationship but I'm happy. That's the important thing.

You can always find tuklodtuklodicream everywhere in the streets of Dipolog. But you'll never find the right one that'll satisfy your tastebuds. I highly recommend the best among the bests. None other than TOM-TOM the favorite flavor of the road. hehehe nonsense.

Cheap but very good. So as with this life we find happiness that value less without lowering the value of ourselves. You only need one thing at a time. I admit I'm not being at my best effort right now but there are things I'm good at. It's just not what you see. But I will never let things easy and spit them out. It's called discovering.

2007-09-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

Falling in love.finding peace and happiness where it has been laid below your feet. Yes, within your reach. The obstacles. The pressures. The betrayal. The hatred. Which are execised by some of us. We get hurt and suffered the blame. But the journey doesn't stop there not the way we really thought it would. We miss people and we get sad.But think of what you would feel when you'll be able tof inally find them. Isn't it ironic? laugh along with me. I'm tired of being this. I think change would be a good option. Sigh.
These are all nonsense. Maybe later I'll be able to find my own safe place. Surrounded with great hate butI know I'll be fine. It's good to face fear when you know your safe.

2007-07-18T18:11:00.000-07:00

No improvements at all!...unbelievable. wahaha kawawang bata..
I'm not in the mood to write anything right now. I'm so disturbed with many thoughts rushing in my mind and I can't even catch a single one of it.

2007-07-10T06:34:00.000-07:00

What a world record! I couldn't believe myself. We had series of quizzes for the prelim term and all of 'em I wasn't able to pass. Am I that dull? Oh I don't know what to do. I am loosing hope and I wanted it to be over. I feel like my knowledge isn't really that tough to be able to stand in this course. But I shouldn't act like this. I wanted to change this. I know there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. But as of now I'm really lost. Sad to say..

I keep thinking about going back to kindergarten days. Everything are just beauty and play. Easy to be exact. And I guess I can only be in that place in my dreams. But moving forward..I'm sticking to this rough road life and do something about it. I think, it's an easy thing to just say but hard to put in actions. That's me. You guessed it. I don't do physical work. I like it that my mind is working. I hate tasks. I just love to think big or small. Whatever. Nobody gives shit..but I enjoy doing it. And by doing so I find peace and serenity ( sounds familiar?hehehe) .

Oh yeah...I'll rock til I drop.

2007-07-04T09:12:00.000-07:00

........summer time.....

2007-07-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

I was forced by my friend to post this photo. Ergh. This is my secret world and nobody has to know about this..Sssshhh. Just you and me. hahaha
Like every love story it always has a beginning and an end. It started when they were still in their freshmen year in high school. The girl had a crush on this guy the moment she saw him. And she even knows the name even though they weren't being introduced. She knew that there is something special about him. But she took his presence for granted. Of course she has to think of her family and the people surrounding her. She needs not to rush things. The guy confessed his love to her but turned him down. She knows she's hurting him but she's hurting even more. And that's the part of the story that was never told. The guy is going to transfer to another place and study there for good. He even informed the girl that he's leaving and that he still loves her. But the girl was thinking that maybe it was just a joke so that she could end up confessing how much she loves him. 'Cause she still doesn't want to let him know for the reason that he might end up breaking her heart. But on the second thought maybe it's true and that she will never be able to see him again and will never know of her feelings for him. But it was too late to say those things to the guy.
The school year had started and news were breaking to who's new and who's gone in the campus. And then she found out that he's gone too. She wanted to reach him through his contact number but fate has it. Her sim card got lost and maybe he already changed his number. So years gone by. The girl turned down few guys 'cause she is still in love with the "guy". She was blaming herself for the torment she's been going through. The loneliness she is suffering but she finds ways to keep up. She had her friends to comfort her.
High school days were over. And farewells were hard to do and say to fellow mates. She still thinks of him from time to time. She finally had the guts to look for him. So then with the help of a friend they were able to communicate. And both of them confessed their feelings for each other and finally they realized how much they love each other. But then they can't be together physically 'cause she's leaving to college and the guy too. They are in a long distance relationship. But as the months passed the girl felt she was left behind. Alone though she was very true to her promise to him but she still feels that their relationship is going nowhere. She finally decided to get rid of him She has to go back to her home town to continue her studies there and would never feel alone with the companies of her friends. She never heard of the guy. But she still misses him so much. She cried her emotions and loneliness whenever she couldn't hold it anymore. But life must go on...

Dark forces came to changed everyone's lives and had left some people to come to realized how they could do such actions that had hurt someone's feelings...and how much he needed her back.
Another summer came. The guy went to her house and said their hellos and asked their how are yous. He wanted her back. It was too late. The girl doesn't want to go through what she'd been through before. And turned him down. But the guy was very motivated to get her hands back. So they meet and talked about the things that had happened and he told her that he will never do those things again to her. But the girl keeps holding back. But she came to realized that maybe it's worth a second try. Maybe she will never have her heart be broken again. Since the one who broke it is also the one who'll going to fix the damaged. She finally said yes again...

And maybe they really are taking things one day at a time. Maybe they are trying to work it again and avoided the things that might hurt each others feeling. Maybe they are going through the right way. And maybe in spite of the distance they have it in their mind and heart that they'll always have each other. Maybe they are afraid to let go. Maybe they found a safety way to make the relationship work again. And maybe they are learning from their mistakes. And maybe they truly found their happiness. After 6 years of ups and downs. Maybe they'll make it and maybe they couldn't. Maybe the future really is for both of them or maybe it isn't.

But surely the story is still in the making. The end is not near..

the guy and the girl...they are happy in their lost worlds. See.

Estrange Friend

2007-06-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

I know there are less people that'll be able to see. That's why I hang around elsewhere but here.

I was walking through our school campus with my friends and along the way we stopped walking to greet a friend. I also noticed her company though she was quite in a distance away from us. I could recognize her. She's an old pal back in highschool. We hangout most of the time also during our college days. It was just yesterday we talked like good friends. Now I don't know what happened. Seems so distant. Unreachable and so mute.

The issue that hit us few months ago was a big destruction that a group of friends could encounter. But for all I know we have to let it go. Yes we were hurt. But to feel it now it's not the same as it was before. It was just a trial that we have to overcome. Not to let ourselves and our yesterdays just vanish.

I was hurt a lot not because of the issue but because it's hard to accept that a friend is having anamnesia or something. Forgot about you. Like a stranger. Memories are so delicate and important. But that person has been part of my life. No one could take that away from me and I won't let that happen.

I want her back. We're all differentpeople now. I know. After what happened I think it's natural for us to be more careful. We make mistakes but still there are rooms for improvements.

Friends are important but yet we sometimes forget about it. I can't even picture myself in her shoes. It's too horrible.

So I was sad. But I was forced to draw a smile masking my emotion. And face yet another gory people and situations ahead. Now how I wish we were total stranger so that it won't hurt much like this.

Whoa..

2007-05-21T05:22:00.000-07:00

Summer is almost over and yeah class and blah.blah.blah I don't even want to mention those things..well what can I say? I am not fond of school the past few months though. But sure I had a blast for this summer! I can't go through details right now but if a have more time I'll enumerate them..just not now... I'm busy having fun..hehehe
Oh just want to thank Hannah for changing my layout and all..hehehe

miss you han

Mahal. bibili ka?

2007-05-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

Eto ang bagong raket namin magkakaibigan mag benta ng concert tickets ng Kamikazee at Parokya ni Edgar. Napag.isipan namin na gawin to kasi naman hindi kami pumasok ng summer class ngayon.so hanap ng pera ang gagawin namin...
ang ticket ay nagkakahalaga noon ng Php300, may libreng 2smb beer at isang smart sim.. Kapag may nakakasalubong syempre bibentahan namin ng ticket at sa kasawiang palad ang palaging sagot eto "ay mahal..hindi nalang.." at magkakandarapa kaming tatlo magpaliwanag na ganito ganyan, sige bumili ka na.. at wa epek pa rin .. napag.isipan namin na sabihin nalang namin na "may tickets kaming binebenta mahal 300 pesos ano bibili ka ba?"
pero ngayun yung 300 na ticket ay para na sa dalawang tao tapos may free beers pa at smart sim. Noon talagang hina ang benta buti ngayon meron ng nag.papareserve. lang hiya, tig-isangdaang tickets kaming tatlo tapos less than 10 percent lang ang nag.pareserve ha.. wala talagang inabot na pera.. Hayooop tong raket na to..
Naku nag.alala lang naman kami na baka kasi walang taong pupunta at manonood ng concert ng dalawang sikat na bandang ito sa aming liblib na lugar. Haay naku... sige na bili naman kayo ohh

Summer 2007

2007-04-20T02:33:00.000-07:00

at first i thought hey, I'm not going to enroll for the summer class so that I can just sit back and enjoy as the sun slowly burns my skin during the day and watch the twinkling of the stars at night.
but why there are situations that just won't fit? makes me feel sad and lonely. there are things that I can't stop from destroying my day. that makes my heart a little happy as the summer pass away.
now I get it. my days won't go according to my plans. it's always just a plan so I decided to let God guide me throughout the day. I guess I'm safe. I guess a little lonely but purely unsure. eergh
I miss writing. I've always dream to write a book. I told myself that my pen and paper will make a great piece and will take me somewhere else. now I'm always preoccupied. I have my friends and my guy whom I spend most of my time. I can't read or finish a book now 'cause I know it will only consume my time for them.
yeah I guess I miss the old kara...who can live with a pen, a paper and a book

Kainiss!

2007-03-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

hindi naman talaga ako fanatic nang library kaya lang masarap pala magtambay dito. maginaw at syempre kasi lib tahimik. At kung akala nyo ay nag-aaral ako ng mga lessons ko pwes hindi...ayoko ng lib talaga. dito lang sa skul na pinapasukan ko ngayun ha. kaya pala may masamang pakiramdam ako dito kasi ngayun lang sa pamamalagi ko sa iskwelahang ito gumamit ako ng computer at nag.online pa. abaah syempre nalibang ako sa pag.chachat..yateee tapos dumating ang tagabantay dito at nakita nyang nag chat kami ng kaibigan ko..at yun sa kasawiang palad my fines kami ng Php50. yateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
so kasalanan namin to kaya wala na kaming magawa..para ba kaming alien na dumako msa library. wahahaha okay lang wala din naman akong balak mag.bayad nyan kung hindi ako sisingilin wahahaha

peace..bianca as of now I hate this library. wahahaa

kalagut

2007-02-16T04:41:00.001-08:00

just when i want to post something on this blog saka naman di gumagana tong utak ko. ito nalang nararamdaman ko ang gagamitin para naman may masabi kahit konti sayang kasi(tumawag lang at narinig boses ng crush hala nawala na sa sarili).

oks din naman pala mag-tagalog ano. di kasi ako mahilig mag-sulat o mag-salita ng tagaligs hihihi xenxa nah nirerespeto ko naman ang ating sariling wika kaya lang para bang natatakot ako na baka mali.mali..aahh bahala kayo...eh siguro nagsimula ito nung nasa grade school pa ako..lagi kasi maliit lang ang grades ko sa Filipino subject at pinapagalitan ako ng aking mapang.bugbog na nanay(ng pagmamahal yan)hihihi kaya heto si kara laging utal magsalita ng tagalog at malabo magsulat ng tagalog..(kala naman nito talagang marunong mag-english..eh talagang mahina ako nito pake nyo!)..kaya hayan na.trauma ba...tsaka pag.pupunta kami sa bahay nila hana dyos ko para bang torture moments sa akin pag.nandyan mommy nya kasi naman po tagalog sila magsalita.. aba ako lang ang taong kinakapos ng tagalog sa bansang ito...hahaha kawawa naman tong sitwasyon ko at sa pag.bisita ko sa ibang blogs aba tulo laway ko sa kanila. marunong ang mga taong to mag.tagalog( dapat ba akong mamangha talaga?..haha). ako na talagang pinaka.pasaway na Pilipino sa balat ng saging..kainis. kaya dito ko sisimulan sa pag.tahas ng aking sarili sa pagsulat gamit ang salitang tagalog. oks ba yun?

siguro nagtataka kayo ba't hindi ako marunong ano,...pwes higupin nyo to..Oo sa isla ng mindanao ako nakatira at hindi salitang tagalog ang gamit namin dito,..hindi naman talaga ako bobong bis.dak (-BISayang DAKo-) pero sige hinahamon ko ang aking sarili sa pagtatagalog. (Dyos ko kakahiya naman)..At eto pah, talaga naman nakakamangha ang ating pambansang wika kasi para sa 'kin mas malalim ang mga kahulugan o gustong ipinapahiwatig ng salitang tagalog..pero depende din naman sa pag.gamit. ewan ko...(huwag naah bawal sa 'kin mag-isip)

sana maintindihan nyo tong isinulat ko...kung natakot ko man kayo o napatawa. ewan ko kung pwede kong ipagmalaki sa sarili ko sa nagawa ko sa inyong mga hindi masyadong malugod na bumabasa ng blog na ito.. hihihi pero di bale ibubuhos ko lahat ng aking talino at lakas mapabuti lang ang kalunos.lunos na sitwasyon ko...hahaha

sige hanggang sa muli kong pag.sulat (aba kapal..hihihi)

bianca..peace

kalagut

2007-02-16T04:41:00.000-08:00

just when i want to post something on this blog saka naman di gumagana tong utak ko. ito nalang nararamdaman ko ang gagamitin para naman may masabi kahit konti sayang kasi(tumawag lang at narinig boses ng crush hala nawala na sa sarili).

oks din naman pala mag-tagalog ano. di kasi ako mahilig mag-sulat o mag-salita ng tagaligs hihihi xenxa nah nirerespeto ko naman ang ating sariling linguahe kaya lang para bang natatakot ako na baka mali.mali..aahh bahala kayo...eh siguro nagsimula ito nung nasa grade school pa ako..lagi kasi maliit lang ang grades ko sa Filipino subject at pinapagalitan ako ng aking mapang.bugbog na nanay(ng pagmamahal yan)hihihi kaya heto si kara laging utal magsalita ng tagalog at malabo magsulat ng tagalog..(kala naman nito talagang marunong mag-english..eh talagang mahina ako nito pake nyo!)..kaya hayan na.trauma ba...tsaka pag.pupunta kami sa bahay nila hana dyos ko para bang torture moments sa akin pag.nandyan mommy nya kasi naman po tagalog sila magsalita.. aba ako lang ang taong kinakapos ng tagalog sa bansang ito...hahaha kawawa naman tong sitwasyon ko at sa pag.bisita ko sa ibang blogs aba tulo laway ko sa kanila. marunong ang mga taong to mag.tagalog( dapat ba akong mamangha talaga?..haha). ako na talagang pinaka.pasaway na Pilipino sa balat ng saging..kainis. kaya dito ko sisimulan sa pag.tahas ng aking sarili sa pagsulat gamit ang salitang tagalog. oks ba yun?

siguro nagtataka kayo ba't hindi ako marunong ano,...pwes higupin nyo to..Oo sa isla ng mindanao ako nakatira at hindi salitang tagalog ang gamit namin dito,..hindi naman talaga ako bobong bis.dak (-BISayang DAKo-) pero sige hinahamon ko ang aking sarili sa pagtatagalog. (Dyos ko kakahiya naman)..At eto pah, talaga naman nakakamangha ang ating pambansang wika kasi para sa 'kin mas malalim ang mga kahulugan o gustong ipinapahiwatig ng salitang tagalog..pero depende din naman sa pag.gamit. ewan ko...(huwag naah bawal sa 'kin mag-isip)

sana maintindihan nyo tong isinulat ko...kung natakot ko man kayo o napatawa. ewan ko kung pwede kong ipagmalaki sa sarili ko sa nagawa ko sa inyong mga hindi masyadong malugod na bumabasa ng blog na ito.. hihihi pero di bale ibubuhos ko lahat ng aking talino at lakas mapabuti lang ang kalunos.lunos na sitwasyon ko...hahaha

sige hanggang sa muli kong pag.sulat (aba kapal..hihihi)

bianca..peace

tomorrow

2007-02-13T05:14:00.000-08:00

K: yeah, it's valentine's day tomorrow. i don't have any plans yet but i am hoping i'll be spending time relaxing at home and be with my friends (if they would want me to be with them that is). As for dets.dets i think i have some dreaming to do tomorrow. in that case i would enjoy visiting romantic places and events in my mind with my dream company..hihihi secwrets...
: i am so sick of texting so tired of c.phone but why can't i tx them to stop bothering me...grrrr hahaha
including E! haay valentine's day
:hope all my friends don't have dates tomorrow so it will be all fair..hahahaha

in my mind

2007-02-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

k= represents me
" = represents my other self

the setting of this blog will be the same with my diary starting now.. just look at the legends and maybe you can follow me in my mind if you want to, that is... ok.

kinda weird but i like it better this way.....

acnaib

real and fancy

2007-02-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

is this really necessary? i really don't know how to express my feelings through this blog. my previous posts were not serious and probably you're thinking that i'm a fool. i admit but not all the time.hihihi you see sometimes you want to try new things around and for my behaviour lately i can say that this isn't the real me. sure i'm in denial but i am willing to change for good. now that i have an urge to change little by little and turn myself to a good samaritan(daw! well i'm trying...) i'm willing to open up for this blog world and express myself in this new (?) life and share good things that happened to me and the bad ones too, the magical and the twists of life in between.... so here i start and a toast for this opening..
sorry for the inconvenience of this blog and the owner. but hopefully i'll improve...

Got A Minute

2007-02-06T04:36:00.000-08:00

i always keep telling myself that i don't want to make any contact of the outer spacers but hey look i wanted to make this thing long but unfortunately for me I have no time left..ergh
what kind of 24hour cafe i'm in? duhh i guess this is not the right time to post a something.something hehehe
sorry hana..next time nalang...

acnaib tc.

Never Mind..

2007-01-28T21:47:00.000-08:00

My mind is so crumpled with thoughts of lousy memories!

Though I never want to recall it I guess absorbing it might do good or not..
I'm not sure which is which.. duuhhh

I tried to be good for myself and to everyone else around me but I keep on slipping on that. Of course letting those people who cared for me especially myself left disappointed..

but all I want for them is to expect little of me... I can't be hard to myself but I don't know where did I go wrong? I'm just learning and tasting the bitter side of life... ugh!

I'm lost right now... and out of words.

acnaib

Warning!

2007-01-28T18:54:00.000-08:00

Kalin jud ning akong mga migas dah..

manda jud mu sige mu sura nko kai i.murderized jud tamu..

pero dawatun nalang nko kai ana naman jud nah..

sige sura lang nahan man pod ko!!!
tarunga lang pod ibutang sa lugar...

hahaha malihog lang ko kay di man pod tamu ing.ana.un....

feel my plea......

kara

Si Julie Bah

2007-01-28T18:52:00.000-08:00

Lain kaau si julie di sige uban namu laag
gahapon rah bya siya kuyog namu....

Gika.ulaw naman mi anah niya..

Walang awa!!

Jul, nyahaha hihihi

Dysfunctional Brain!

2007-01-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

Abaah abaah abaah nganu pod ning pagka.limtanun mu.andar lagi....
Last year pa intawun tong last nakog post unya kay mag.post na unta ko ky daghan nang ika.share ang lola naah limut pod sa user name and even ang password..merisi!!!!

Na di karun ni malfunction napod akong coconut waah nay ika.post...
Basat kay naka.hinumdum nko run lefay nkow...

kara...huna2 sa ko..

Positive+Negative-

2006-11-26T19:57:00.001-08:00

i woke up amd found out that my abdomen got bigger. Then a friend told me I'm pregnant. I said " I'm pregnant? What? I don't believe this!

I can't believe this. I am pregnant. Duhh. But true. Big tummy and all. I just thought my tummy is full of food. But true, a little living thing inside me.

I feel ashamed of what I'm going through right now. To my family, I'm so sorry. And the freakiest thing is I don't know who's the father. I don't even remember when it happened.

This is not happening to me. I'm not that kind of girl. But how is this little thing went inside my system?

My mother called me and again she woke me up. Yes, Oh thank God it was just a dream again.

I don't understand what's the connection of these strange dreams to my daily life. I just can't figure it out. But the images are so real. It really feels real!!

Murder!

2006-11-26T19:07:00.000-08:00

I was about to go to sleep. Then I heard a strange noise. I went out of my room with a flashlight with me. I searched from room to room. I went to my brother's room and as I was aiming the light from the flashlight to every wall. I saw somebody. There was s a priest and there was another guy over the priest lying body on the floor. The priest stared at me. He was bleeding. I know that the killer sensed my presence in that room. I went away very fast. Pretending I didn't see that horrible scene. I was afraid to scream I felt so cold and freaking stiff.

I called for the others but I wasn't able to findthem. I went back to my brother's room. And then they found the dead body. I was not able to talk to them. My head was aching so bad. I was afraid. I could not believe it. I just witnessed a murder. What if the killer will hunt me down? The way the priest stared at me I don't know if he just wants me to help him or he wants me to go away. I don't know. Maybe I partly blamed myself of what happened. He died without my help. I was silent.

The police arrived. I did not mention anything of it. I know it's a stupid thing to do. But I was really afraid. Then they left. I went to my room to get some sleep. When I turned on the lights I saw somebody lying on my bedroom floor. Geez! Not again. I can't believe whom i saw dead. It's Emma Watson. What the?

I ran away to get the others. 2 murders in a row and in my house? That's insane. Who killed them all? Oh this is totally crazy.
Then I reached to the other bedroom and then I heard a strange voice calling my name. I knew it was my mother's voice. She said "Kara open the door!. I was thinking, I didn't locked the door when I went inside. Then she continued, "Your going to your grandmother's house. She's here to fetch you. C'mon wake up!"

Geez! It was just a dream. Very strange and horrifying.. Hehe

That's it for my yesterday's dream..

ay sus!

2006-11-22T01:12:00.000-08:00

Toink.. di ako pumasok sa aming P.E. class ngayon.. Talagah!
kasi po ayaw ko ng swimming class noh.

Maka.recover din ako baka next week nalang ako papasok
ready na siguro ako..hehe

Aysus..dami ko palang gagawin ngayon. Baka kasi makalimutan ko eh.
Pero sure akong di ko magagawa lahat. iniisip ko lang kung anong mga yun.
Sige hanggang dito nalang ulit..

hanggang sa susunod na kabanata sa buhay ni kara.
hala, rocky world pa naman ang sabi ko.

Naman to oh, talagang marami namang mga
kababalaghan sa buhay ko
kaya lang sa kabila nun meron po akong
sakit na pagka.tamad.
Sensya nah ha..

Dugaya Oi!

2006-11-19T18:47:00.000-08:00

Hahay,
Run Pa ko nakapost ug balik...Kapoi man..

Anah ko katapulan munang diri ra pud ko taman..hehe
Regards nalang ko sa ako self ug sa makabasa ani..

merry x-mas everyone!